Can we be (best) friends again?
#30DaysWritingChallenge #Day16
I have never imagined that we would be trapped in this cold situation for almost 10 months with blurry background of how it started. It could’ve been me at the first place; because of my unclear gestures, or me being selfish. It could’ve been me who started to build the wall of assumptions.
In these 10 months, I have been having a great lost because of your absence. It was you, who were there when I wanted to to hide from the world because of getting ashamed of my feelings,
it was you who were there when I my tears couldn’t be seen by anyone,
it was you who were there when my stories were too much for others.
You were there when I felts I couldn’t face the world alone.
But then, you have been hiding somewhere; untouchable.
I have been making myself in the some position as well. Avoiding.
Why?
It is not only once or twice I thought about putting everything back into places again. It is not only one night that I felt like texting or calling you to share my stories, to ask for your opinions, to know about how well you were living your life.
I just could not find the door to start it.
I just could not see the bridge to connect us.
I am sorry for for my words and gestures that hurt you, that started all of this situation. I am sorry for being cold. I am sorry for adding the awkwardness. I am sorry for taking the other ways to avoid you. I am sorry for not taking the first step to say sorry directly. I am sorry that I can only spill out all of these feelings here for now. I am so, so sorry.
Can we, by any means, be — at least — friends again? Begin with stories of these past months, then continue with other stories. Two, three, four hours of phone calls — I do not mind at all. Then, if it is possible, if I may be greedy, I dream of us being best friends again.
I miss our unplanned talks, I miss our heart-to-heart convo, I miss our random topics, I miss our comfortable bond.
I miss you, my dear friend.
I miss us.
Xx
-el
